Monday, January 31, 2011

Don't Fuck with Testosterone!

No, I'm not saying injecting it into your ass is necessarily a bad thing. I'm thinking more along the lines of how the government is content with legal estrogenic products, but the real testosterone boosters (aka steroids) and testosterone in general are deemed as a terrible plague upon the human race.

Let's start with the basics. Testosterone is "the male" sex hormone (quotations because women actually do produce small amounts of it, as do men produce small amounts of estrogen for balance). I'm no chemist, but I did get a B in high school chemistry. In case you actually care about it, 17-beta-hydroxy-4-androstene-3-one is testosterone. Testosterone is produced in the testes (or the balls, as I was so eloquently told by a friend explaining it to me in high school) and is involved in starting puberty.

Benefits range from the obvious to the unseen. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know injecting testosterone in yourself will increase muscle mass, which is just one of the benefits. Others include libido, aggression, longevity, increased metabolic rate and energy. It is also noted in studies that with low testosterone come higher rates of depression. Higher levels of testosterone have shown to lower anxiety levels (my interpretation is because you're too busy being a fucking man).

While testosterone is positively correlated to levels of aggression, that doesn't mean to be a shithead and try to fight everyone you see. Most of the bad rap on steroids stems from people who aren't intelligent enough to use it. They have a short temper, add more testosterone and freak out over the stupidest shit. Then they forget to regulate their hormones after their cycle is over and think they are a woman trapped in a man's body (yes that does happen on occasion, but only for the terribly uneducated).

Maybe its just me, but maybe testosterone shouldn't be as taboo as people make it out to be. We're too busy being politically correct and pandering to the weak instead of telling them to "man up".

I'm too lazy to cite my sources, but Google and Google Scholar helped me out.

Who needs sources with a pic like this?

I finally wrote this while I was bored at work, so let me know if it sucks/if you catch any errors.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I've been sober...

Since Sunday. Time to fix that by getting real disrespectful at my favorite bar.

In lieu of a real blog post again I'll leave you with a few hot girls...


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Marry, kill, fuck

Oprah, Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'donnell. GO!

I'm killing Oprah, fucking Ellen and marrying Rosie. Just cause I marry a whale doesn't mean I have to bang her.

Another thing to dwell upon:
Would you rather have cheeto fingers (fingers covered in the orange dust from eating cheetos) forever, or diarrhea for 5 straight hours.

To reward actually reading this blog because I put about 2 minutes into it...
All the qualities my next girlfriend should doing my laundry.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I've been slacking

Haven't gotten around to finishing my research I said I would blog about last time. Classes are getting busy since syllabus week is actually over (there goes my 5 nights/week at the bar). On the upside, PLEDGES. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, pledge season is here. I was in class during initiation, but I'll be there to tell them how hard it was back in my back (obviously because I'm so fucking old....psych!).

Regardless, I had class tonight where the female professor told us that women weren't targeted for crimes because they were the weaker sex (oh really?). She said senior citizens were more at risk to become victims at crime at night, my only problem with that is that many old people can't even stay awake once the sun goes down. Little does she know that if my grandfather heard her say this shit, he would be furious. It would probably go down a little like this...

Tell 'em Grandpa.

Side note: I don't condone actually hitting women, but if they want to be equals with men in certain aspects, they should be aware of certain consequences. Fuck the pussification of the modern era.

Now go lift something heavy and fuck a slut. Or masturbate, you're probably a virgin if you're reading this.
Dat ass.

Friday, January 21, 2011


Why is it that you can find estrogen-related products in any pharmacy, but ask a doctor about testosterone and they do everything to tell you how irrelevant it is. I'm pretty sure testosterone is very relevant to any male that is walking around today. I'll actually write up a real post on this when I have time to actually look up sources.

Your test production just doubled.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

No post yesterday? I hope he posts a good pic...

Already lost my 1 blog a day streak. I guess I suck at blogging and at real life. My excuse was class and rush week didn't leave me enough time for it. Usually I pass out around 10pm and wake up at 6am for the gym (crazy, I know), but last night I was up til 2 drinking and barely woke up in time for work this morning.

Rusk week is filled with tons of man flirting and I just want it to be over with so I can go back to my normal schedule. Sure you meet a bunch of new people, but as an active, I don't care who you are until you accept our bid (if you even get one).

I'll tell you about a couple different guys that were there. Of course we had the couple of guys that would get bids right away because we already knew them and they were unable to rush during fall (even though rushing in the fall is much better). Then we had some others that showed up because they saw signs around campus. It can go either way with these guys. An awkward ginger that barely spoke showed up and we had to politely ask him to leave. No one wants the job to tell them to rush a different house, but it has to be done. Another kid showed up saying he wanted "lifelong friends". I'm sure you all heard of the phrase "don't bullshit a bullshitter" and it applies to rush too. We know you want to rage hard and slam sorostitutes. I think more of the guys that said "I want to party and not be a GDI because its boring" (or something along those lines) got bids than the guys that said "I want lifelong friends and to be active on campus". If you answer "Why did you rush?" with "I want lifelong friends", we'll laugh at you albeit behind your back.

Well, after that wall of text about absolutely nothing but making fun of potentials, I leave you with these nuggets.

I'd play Cowboys and Indians with these girls.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

"Its gonna be a loko night"

I'm sure everyone's heard of a Four Loko by now. If you haven't, its time to move out from under your rock and join society in its quest to forget how fucked up it is by getting hammered. Unfortunately, the new generation of Lokos have no more caffeine in them because 14 year olds don't know how to handle alcohol at all.

Good thing I stocked up on the older ones.

There's always a lot of discussion on just what equals a Four Loko. Is it 6 beers and 2 cups of coffee or 9 beers and 4 shots of espresso. I don't give a flying fuck. If I shotgun one of these bad boys, I'm going to be having a great night that I'll barely remember. This beverage isn't for the faint of heart, or maybe it is. Go ahead and drink one. Sure the taste isn't amazing, but I think watermelon tastes like a damn Jolly Rancher. Lemonade and grape are my other go-to flavors. I'd rather "suffer" through a drink that reminds me of alcoholic candy than drink an 18-pack to get a drink.

Here's a little treat: a woman in her natural habitat wearing her cultural attire.
I ain't mad at her.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Tearing shit up on the reg

Last night was ridiculous. Monster margaritas on the cheap, $5 bar cover and free drinks til midnight. Need I say more? Probably.

Thanks to MLK Jr. Day everyone was out in force last night. Usually I get to this bar around 9pm so I can get a barside seat for a good hour or so, but I got there a little later and it was crowded. 10pm was when it was hard to even get close to the bar to order drinks.

All in all, it was a pretty great night. Ended up with a girl's number and had breakfast made for me by my slampiece. Rage hard or go home (and going home is for GDIs).

This picture is proven to raise testosterone.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

First blog

About to go out for a friend's birthday dinner/shitshow but thought I'd get this blog started. I'll try to keep this blog interesting even though this first post blows.

Not a totally worthless post.